This is the English way to make yourself fit back together.

Wow, awful long time since I posted a blog. I'm not one of these people who write a blog every week to update 4 people on how I'm doing. I prefer to think of them as evidence for my future breakdown. Also I can use these rarely seen archives to detail all of my emo inspired thoughts. I seriously think I could be somewhat Bi-polar, my actions are erratic and at one minute in time I can be the happiest person in the world and then the next I can be miserable and deeply troubled about trivial things, such as the fact that I didn't get spoken to by the girl I'm hopelessly in love with. Although, I think it's all just that I'm a drama queen and enjoy the attention I get when people ask me what's up and I just coyly say " Oh nothing I'm fine", for two seconds of my life someone cares. Yes. I am a lonely and desperately emotional person, but if you can't handle me at my worst then you sure as...FUCK OFF. Yes Marilyn Monroe said a quote that people find worthy enough to plaster ALL over the internet and in everyone's faces, who cares really? I do not that is for sure. If I can't handle you at your worst, then it's not that I don't deserve you at your best, it's that I just simply do not care enough to handle you at your lowest point in life.

Jim Morrison was just a person.

Bob Marley was just a person.

John Lennon was just a person.

Kurt Cobain was just a person.

Bob Dylan is just a person.

Lady Gaga is just a person.

If you worship musicians simply because they:"speak to you" and " create messages" then you really do not deserve to have opinions on anything that is considered to be Real.

Yes, people use music as a form of escapism, sometimes all a person has is a CD they've had since they were 12 and cannot afford another and they need that CD to survive, it's all they have in the world.

I'm talking about the people who endlessly worship Musicians because they think they are, "Fit" or "Geniuses".

Tom DeLonge and Mark Hoppus describe teenage angst to it's fullest extent and somewhat exhaust something that really only lasts for technically 6 years of a persons life, if someone lives to be 60 then Blink 182 have had a career describing 6% of someone's life. They do not deserve to be worshipped. They are brilliant musicians and Blink is one of my favourite bands. But they DO NOT deserved to be treated as living Gods.

Jim Morrison. Urgh. Don't get me started. For one, The Doors aren't even THAT good. He was an arrogant prick who lived to treat the world as his subordinate. You chose to be a musician James.

And now for something completely different.

I have this philosophy. If I play my top 25 most played tracks on my Ipod how would a person react. I know you wouldn't skip a song. That, to me, is what things are made of.

I was told recently to get a girl that looked like you, a sort of replacement, I answered " I'd rather just have her", it isn't romantic, but it is what I feel. I know we are in somehow supposed to be something, breaks my heart that we aren't.

You are everything I ever wanted in a girl. Everything. Yet I still cannot stop loving someone else. Love is a bit of a strong word, yet adore just doesn't do what I feel justice. I don't love her, I don't adore her, I'm in the middle, but to say my feelings are middle ground of two, well that just doesn't even get a second look.

Basically I'm a mess who switches between girls like a dog will between trees. Just know this. No matter how many trees I will want to run up to. I will always want to piss forever on you.

That's the least romantic statement ever made by man besides " fancy a quickie". But the sentiment is next to none.